By Wayne Grudem
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Additional info for Biblical Foundations for Manhood and Womanhood (Foundations for the Family Series)
We should do everything we can to alleviate the pain of childbirth for women. And we should do everything we can to undo the conflict that comes about through women desiring to oppose or even control their husbands and their husbands ruling harshly over them. Therefore Genesis 3:16 should never be used as a direct argument for male headship in marriage. But it does show us that the Fall brought about a distortion of previous roles, not the introduction of new roles. 22 22The understanding of Genesis 3:16 as a hostile desire, or even a desire to rule over, has gained significant support among Old Testament commentators.
Though I list this here as the tenth reason why there were differences in roles between men and women from creation, I will not explain it at this point because by itself it constitutes “Key Issue #3” that I discuss below. Conclusion: Here then are at least ten reasons showing differences in the roles of men and women before the Fall. Some reasons are not as forceful as others, though all have some force. Some of them whisper male headship, and some shout it clearly. But they form a cumulative case showing that Adam and Eve had distinct roles before the Fall, and that this was God’s purpose in creating them.
Usually we reach agreement on the decision. Very seldom will I do something that she does not think to be wise. She prays, she loves God, she is sensitive to the Lord’s leading and direction, and I greatly respect her and the wisdom God gives her. But in every decision, whether large or small, and whether we have reached agreement or not, the responsibility to make the decision still rests with me. I do not agree with those who say that male headship only makes a difference once in ten years or so when a husband and wife can’t reach agreement.